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All of Your Toys
Chapter 4
"OH YEAAAH!!" shrieked Wendy O. Koopa along with her new Axem Rangers album. "WHY IS IT NEVER ENOUGH, NO MATTER WHAT I DO...I GIVE IT ALL THAT I'VE GOT AND IT'S ALWAYS TOO FEW..."
"Shaddup!" Her ill-tempered brother, Iggy, commanded none too courteosly. "They're playing that song on every radio station at least five times a day, and you have the album anyway, and you won't stop singing along! I'm getting really sick of it! I don't even like Alternative! And besides, I can't concentrate with you screeching your lungs out all day! So be quiet!"
"Oh, chew on your tongue," Wendy responded rudely. "The Axems are the best new group, and you can either sit here disliking them or join the rest of the world. Okay, if you don't like that song, we'll play this one." She pressed a button on her expensive CD player and it skipped to the next track. To appease her brother, she did not sing along; she simply sat on the floor swathed in blankets, swami-style, and lit some incense as the voice of Axem Black could be heard bleating out some melody.
"THANK you." Iggy made a face and then pranced off through the Keep's enormous hallways to find the kitchen and make himself a sandwich. Wendy continued to enjoy the music.
Unbeknowst to her, her father, Bowser Koopa, was at that moment out on the front lawn sending a large group of Koopa Troopas after the Axem Rangers. Oh yes, he'd defeated them once...when he had been working with Mario....and goshdarn it, he could defeat them again. "Awright, Troopas," he said. "Off to England with you! And don't come back until you have those Axem Rangers, and anyone who tries to help them! If you're not back in a week I'm coming after you myself with the rest of the Koopa Troop, so don't worry about it if they elude you for the moment. Now listen up! These guys have tons of weapons and tricks they'll use on you if you give them time, so DON'T! Are you all ready?"
There was a resounding "No."
Bowser rolled his eyes. "I said, ARE YOU ALL READY?"
"NO!!" they screeched.
Bowser narrowed his eyes dangerously. "Are....you....all...ready?"
"Maybe if you give us a raise!" straggled a voice.
"Ahhh....an extra cookie for everyone when you get back!" Bowser yelled.
"Are you ready?"
"YEEEEAAAH!!!" shrieked the Koopa Troop. Then they boarded their little flying thingmajigs and set off for England.
Meanwhile, back in France...
The black cat danced into the hotel room. "The album's gone platinum! You guys are it!"
The Axem Rangers took up a cheer. "We fight for evil!" yelled Axem Red.
"We live for disorder!" Axem Black followed.
"We like what we do!" Axem Green cheered.
"We struggle for--"
"Please," the cat winced, "no recitations."
"If you like," Axem Pink sulked, having been interrupted in the middle of her line.
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Luigi jammed along with his copy of the Axem Ranger's album. His favourite song was playing now: "Loudmouth Yankee Blues," a heartbreaking song about a guy who goes down to Mexico and has to leave behind his girlfriend when he goes back. Normally Luigi didn't sing along with his music, because it was too embarrasing with Mario in the house, but today he went right ahead because Mario was out fixing a leaky sink. "WHAT AM I DOING HANGIN' ROOOOOOOUND??? I SHOULD BE ON THAT TRAIN AND GOOOOOOOONE......I SHOULD BE RIDING ON THAT TRAIN TO SAN ANTO-OO-OONE...." And then Mario walked in and Luigi very abruptly shut up.
---
A squadron of thirty green-shelled Koopa Troopas poured into the hotel and up to the front desk. "Excuse me, sir, where is the Axem Rangers' suite?" inquired the front man politely.
"Ehhhh....suite 502," the snooty official responded.
"Thank you," the Troopa tipped his hat and the other Koopa Troopas swarmed up the stairwell, yelling excitedly. They knocked heavily on the door of suite 502. It was answered in thirty seconds by Axem Green. "Hullo? Is someone there?" A turtle knocked him out cold with a mallet, and two others grabbed him and stuffed him in a bag. Then they all stampeded into the suite itself, abducting the cat and the other Axem Rangers before any had a chance to respond.
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