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I thought about bleeding the other day.
Blood is the life and bleeding is giving the blood
away to something else that probably doesn't even
care about your life and doesn't want your life and
wants you to keep your life but you can't because
you're bleeding and you can't stop it. And I was
thinking about scars and then I was thinking about
my soul. A soul is continually being scarred
because everything that happens to you affects you
and changes the way you think or behave for a little
while or maybe forever which means the difference
between when your soul gets wounded if it heals
sometime or if it scars or if it just keeps bleeding
and bleeding, and I was thinking about something I
made up about a man whose soul was wounded
terribly like everyone's is wounded terribly
sometime, but most people--well with most people
sometimes the wound heals after a very long time
or sometimes it just scars and it stays with them
forever but it can't hurt them like that again, but if
the wound doesn't heal or scar or scab over then it
just bleeds and bleeds, and that's what the man I
made up-- that's what his soul did, because it got hurt
and it bled and never healed or scarred so it
always hurt that same way, because usually if
something hurts you deeply for a while it hurts that
way, that shallow, hot, sharp way, like diamond
knives in the fire trying to hollow you out and purify
you, but then after it scars it hurts in a deep, warm
way that cools off sometimes and it'll leave you
alone sometimes but of course you always have it,
you always have that pain with you, but the man I
made up just had the first pain and it wouldn't go
away, and you can't ignore something like that and
someone told him to please forget the pain, forget it
and fill his life with beautiful memories because the
painful memories are important in life but if they
just keep bleeding and bleeding you have to forget
them, and most people don't have to forget them
and it gives them the other half of being alive. But
this man I made up was different.
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