Chloroplasma
Chloroplasma.  IT IS FUN!
part of a dragonfly.

JET!

A musical play in two scenes
script by Kefrin, Rachel, and Zuki
Istalkray didn’t help
that’s why she plays Angel.

CAST OF CHARACTERS

JESSICA- An evil girl who thinks everything is “radical”.
JAMIE- An evil girl who likes cheese. It makes her gassy.
LORETTA- A sweet and prissy chick who likes pink ribbons.
Mr. KIPPER- A fish.
TOBIAH THE AMMONITE OFFICIAL- Hates the Israelites. He is an alien from the planet Tseldonae and is a renegade scumbag. Two of his eyes are grey. The other three are purple.
ANGEL THE TRANSVESTITE- Everybody thinks “she” is a sweet person who is a good singer and actress. But “she” is really just an overly effeminate hairdresser who has a crush on the dirty copper after watching him dance in front of the mirror in the bathroom.
DIRTY COPPER- A cop who secretly fantasizes about being an exotic dancer. The evolved form of Angel.
UNRULY MOB OF FEMINISTS- an unruly mob of feminists.

ORIGINAL BROADWAY CAST

JESSICA .................................................... Zuki
JAMIE......................................................... Rachel
LORETTA..................................................... Keff
ANGEL/DIRTY COPPER/UNRULY MOB ............ Istalkray

SCENE 1: 1917, New York City, Central Park

(LORETTA and ANGEL are walking in the park having a discussion.)

LORETTA: So, Angel, what do you want to do today?

ANGEL: I don’t know, Loretta.

LORETTA: Say, wouldn’t it be fun to go be suffragettes?

ANGEL: Oh.. uh.... I don’t know. (quietly) I’m not even really a woman! I can’t be a suffragette! What am I going to do?

(enter JAMIE and JESSICA.)

JESSICA: Wow! Like, totally radical! We’re going to go protest!

JAMIE: COOOOOL!

LORETTA: Really?

JESSICA: Like, totally! We’re going to the most RADICAL protest that’s ONLY for suffragettes! All the most RADICAL suffragettes are going to be there! Allow us to introduce ourselves!

JAMIE: COOOOOOL!

JESSICA: I’m Jessica, and this is Jamie! Like, we’re totally SICK of all this uncool sexual stereotyping! So we’ve decided to become man-and-boy haters and complain about them all the time! We’re also going to stop raising children and spend all our time working and badmouthing the opposite sex!

JAMIE: COOOOOOL!

ANGEL: Oh. (*snicker*)

LORETTA: Gee, Jessica, I don’t know. I think raising children is kind of neat.

JESSICA: Whoa, like, you are totally outdated! Don’t you know that EVERY female should forget about children and spend the rest of their lives being totally RADICAL feminists?

JAMIE: COOOOOOL!

LORETTA: You mean, like, burn our corsets and stuff?

JESSICA: Totally! All the most RADICAL people are becoming suffragettes and feminists and burning their corsets!

JAMIE: COOOOOOL!

LORETTA: What are we waiting for? Let’s go declare war on men and boys!

JESSICA: Now you’re getting the idea!

JAMIE: COOOOL!

ANGEL: But why’d you pick us to come to your protest?

JESSICA: We saw you and thought you looked totally COOL and radical!

JAMIE: COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!!

(LORETTA, JESSICA, and JAMIE burn their corsets. ANGEL looks uncomfortable.)

SCENE 2- Outside of the White House a few months later

(JESSICA and JAMIE are sitting on the White House steps with their halfway burned corsets. They are holding protest that read ,”Feminists and Suffragettes are the most RADICAL and COOL people around.”)

JESSICA: Where are our little friends from Central Park? They are late! This is just so, like so UNCOOL an UNRADICAL!

JAMIE: UNCOOOOOOL!!!

(ANGEL enters in a business suit and slacks. She/he is holding a small black briefcase)

ANGEL (speaking in a mostly male voice): Hiya chicas! How is life?

JESSICA: It was fine until, like you came in those so UNRADICAL an UNCOOL clothes. So unfashionable, and what is with your voice!?

JAMIE: UNCOOOOOOOOOOL!

ANGEL (shyly): Well, I have turned over a new leaf. This suffrage stuff is just not me anymore. I am going off to start my own business as an entrepreneur.

JAMIE: UNCOOOOOOOOL!

(LORETTA enters the scene. She is looking most feminist today. She is wearing a shirt that reads “I Am A Feminist, Hear Me Roar!”)

LORETTA: How is it going my most feminist friends?

ANGEL: Who are you calling a feminist?

JESSICA: It seems that there are like, SOME COOL people are here to support us.

JAMIE: COOOOOOOOL!

LORETTA: I brought some of my friend that I have made along the way to help us.

ANGEL: I am leaving. You females are scaring me. I know! I will become an ANTI-FEMINIST! (ANGEL now known as DIRTY COPPER)

DIRTY COPPER: I am going to go and get some doughnuts. (DIRTY COPPER retreats to a bathroom to dance in front of a mirror)

JAMIE: COOOOOL!!!!

JESSICA: So, Loretta, when are your friends going to arrive.

LORETTA: Oh, any moment now...

(UNRULY MOB OF FEMINISTS enters the scene)

UNRULY MOB: We are here for you, Jessica! (cheers)

LORETTA: I knew they would come! Let's begin!

JAMIE: COOOOOOOOOL!

JESSICA: Yes, COOL.

(UNRULY MOB exits but is really still there. Show to be there by a sign that reads “Unruly Mob of Suffragettes”)

(DIRTY COPPER enters the scene looking very amused with him/herself)

DIRTY COPPER: What do you unruly mob think YOU are doing here (pointing at little sign)? Get off of the steps of the White House now!

JESSICA: We are protesting. We women want the right to vote.

JAMIE: COOOOOOOL!!

LORETTA: We are burning our already burned corsets! We want to vote! You evil fiend!

JAMIE: COOOOOOL!!

LORETTA (looking especially confused): Does Jamie say anything other than “COOOL!” and “UNCOOL!”?

JESSICA: No, she is kinda slow...but she is still like, a really RADICAL person. Just look at those COOL clothes she is wearing!

LORETTA: No wonder all she does is follow you around all of the time.

JAMIE: COOOL!! UNCOOL!! No, wait, not that. I cannot be silent any longer. I am actually a very well educated and well known person. I am one of the lead suffragettes in the world. HEAR ME ROAR! RAAARRRRR!

JESSICA (looking especially confused): Oh I see... DEAR ME! I now know the REAL COOL YOU! You are even cooler than before!

JAMIE: Yes, I am.

LORETTA (picks up a newspaper): Hey, ladies. LOOK AT THIS!!

JESSICA: YEAH! We won.

DIRTY COPPER: Huh? (looks at paper) All of my dreams of danc...I mean men always getting their way RUINED!

LORETTA: Ha! Ha! How awfully funny! Now men shall never get their way AGAIN!

JESSICA: RADICAL! Let’s go beat up the president!

JAMIE: Under the present circumstances, Jessica, that might not be a very well thought out action.

LORETTA: *sigh* I suppose Jamie is right. What should we do now?

JESSICA: Let’s go down to the totally RADICAL box office and, like, cast our totally cool and radical VOTES!

JAMIE: COOOOOOOL!

LORETTA: Wait!!

JESSICA: What is it?

LORETTA: All the candidates are MEN!

(JESSICA and JAMIE crash to the ground.)

JESSICA AND JAMIE: AAH!!

DIRTY COPPER: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! YOU WILL NEVER DEFEAT US!!! NEVER!! NEVER!!! AAAAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..... (DIRTY COPPER dies laughing.)

JESSICA: Whoa, that’s totally disgusting!

JAMIE: EEEEEWWWW!!!

LORETTA: HEY! I have an idea!

JESSICA: And what’s that?

LORETTA: Let’s go run for president!

JAMIE: COOOOOOL!

JESSICA: HEY! Jamie, you’re only supposed to affirm MY comments!

JAMIE: Oh yeah, I forgot!

JESSICA: Let’s try this one more time. Let’s go run for president!

JAMIE: COOOOOOL!

JESSICA: Much better!

LORETTA: Shouldn’t somebody get rid of the dirty copper’s body?

JESSICA: Yuk, that’s gross! Let’s let a man do it.

JAMIE: COOOOOL!

LORETTA: Well, girls, this is just another step forward for all that is feministic, maniacal, and presumptuous!

JESSICA: And another nail in the coffin for all that is right and good and true!

(JESSICA, JAMIE, and LORETTA laugh evilly and exit the scene.)

(Curtain call!!!)


curly thing.
one's hair on trees and one's hair on people.
IMAGE MAP OF YOUR DOOM.