for everything, to rest

The nurse of full-grown souls is solitude. (Lowell)

Because you set your tears in glass and ice,
I still let you make me stay to keep you human.
But I have lost my heart to something else
and I need to learn how to love you again.
If I leave you, and if I hurt you,
I'll apologise for hurting you--

nothing else.

I was only half of myself with you.
You're another half, but perhaps half of something different--
Because I never stopped giving and taking

And now that I have given and taken enough--

All of what I was is gone and what I am
is nothing I understand
and something I might believe

but nothing true.

Please let me go to myself.
Let me find the half that's still perfect
And then maybe--
Maybe--

I can rebuild the rest.

And if I can--
I do love you. And I'm sorry.
And if--I can't--

then I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I will imagine that the silence has forgiven me
And I will come back to you.