And now I see the life I led,
I slept it all away in bed.....

“Are you ready to go?” Melody and Tiffany chirped in unison. The bio-weapon was no longer a threat, at least not for an hour or so, and the Light-Bearers wanted to round everyone up and get them off the planet while they still could.

The entire Star Fox team plus Bill was staring in shock at the crater where Falco had been. They didn’t know it had been a clone.

Radley McCoy came strolling back over, oblivious to the looks everyone was giving him. Slippy’s mouth was hanging open. Finally, the toad got the energy to speak. “You killed him!!” he yelped shrilly. “You killed Falco!!”

“Kill? Kill? I didn’t kill anybody,” said Radley, with one of his oh-you-crazy-kids looks.

Fox was definitely very angry. “You didn’t happen to notice that along with the bio-weapon, YOU BLEW UP FALCO??!!”

“Ahh, you mean him! I thought he smelled funny. No, that wasn’t anyone who came here with you kids. Smelled very much like granite. It was a clone, or something, so don’t you worry your unattractive little head, boy. Whatever it was it was made o’ the same stuff that dog you were just fighting was.”

Suddenly everybody felt much better; everyone except Katt, who was still lying in a heap on the ground.

“If your friend had been killed,” Helen said darkly, “I would have taken full responsibility.”

Sam’s jet, still covered with tent, landed awkwardly next to everyone. “Hey, let’s make like a bone-chisel and split, okay? I’m picking up some seriously uncouth vibes.”

Bill snuffled, still getting over the flu, and looked at Radley. “Well, if that wasn’t Falco, then where is Falco?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Radley said dismissively. “I expect he’ll come back sometime. Now you kids better leave while you still have the chance. I’ll see you sometime, maybe. Or maybe not. But if you’re still hanging around with these bad influences, I hope we don’t meet again! G’bye!” Radley waved heartily and disappeared into the woods without another word.

“The jets have storage compartments,” said Fred joyously. “They’re really big jets, don’t you think? A passenger can fit very comfortably in there,” he continued.

Sherry started pushing the Star Fox team in the direction of the jets. “Come on, guys, right in there. Get in there.” The team, which was still by no means well, climbed stiffly into the jets. Sam romped over to Katt and dragged her into a jet by a paw.

“The Arwings,” Fox said suddenly. “What’ll happen to them?”

“We’ll send someone down for them later,” Helen said. “If we ever get around to it. Which we might not. We’ll have them get us some pretzels, too.” The Light-Bearers crawled into their jets, closed everything up, and took off.

The Star Fox team left Fortuna behind in the blink of an eye, but unfortunately the memories of that hellish time did not depart as quickly or as easily.

*  *  *

Falco sighed and tried to listen to what Aravit was saying, but all the thys and thous and thees were becoming a little too much for him. He settled down, trying to muck through the strange language but all the time clinging to a hope that Rhandon would tell him what he had missed if he never did get it figured out.

Apparently the gist of it was that he and Rhandon were supposed to go romping around the Gluncandran scenery until they came to Fulormene, where they would most likely find large groups of people who did not like them. Then they would find a really big building and go inside, searching through it until they found a little statue of a cat. Then they would make their way through crowds of really angry people and have a nice stroll back to the House. Really neat, Falco thought to himself.

When the council was over, Falco went to the little room he called his own and sat down on what passed for a bed. Trying to sort out the details of this journey while also trying to sort through all the weird memories he was getting was not an easy task, and he eventually gave up on it and got up. Crossing to the window, he stared out it and looked up at the endless expanse of stars. The waving, fluid motions of the melotin seemed to Falco like a dance, and under the strangely bright sky the plants looked like a vast, dark sea. He decided he would have to get everything worked out eventually, so he thought it best to start at the beginning. It was hard to try and think about Arwings, or Fox, or even Lylat for that matter, at least while he was here on Gluncandron. He had to really work at it to keep on track.

This wasn’t the first time he’d been stupid enough to fly into a black hole. The chances of actually finding a black hole were one in a million, less than that of being struck by lightning. I guess I’m just lucky. Or stupid. Take your pick, Falco thought in his usual cheerful manner. Fox claimed to have found two in Lylat, and said they were little shortcuts, like Meteo to Katina, or some rot like that. Those weren’t black holes, though, not really; they were wormholes, and they were little more than passageways. Some went a long way, others didn’t. But out of everyone in the Star Fox team, only Falco had really ever been into a black hole. The others had seen it and pulled back the first time. Falco had seen it too, but for some reason he didn’t try to steer away from it; he saw something in it that so transfixed him that he didn’t even think to try not to fly into it. It was reminiscent of tornado victims who become so fascinated by the tornado that they forget to get away from it. Of course, last time he hadn’t gotten a bay door open while he was in it. But the point was that a black hole--a real black hole--didn’t take you to another planet in the same system, or to a planet a few systems down. You couldn’t just fly back from where a black hole took you, because it was like another universe; and now that he thought about it he could remember things. Some he could describe in words, but most he couldn’t. Gluncandron was one of the things he remembered that, odd enough as it was, was more commonplace.

Don’t think too much, he reprimanded himself. You shouldn’t think too hard or you’ll never be able to enjoy nice normal things ever again. He knew this from experience. Once he had read a very profound book, and afterwards he had sat up all night having very deep thoughts. The one problem with that was that he had found it very hard afterwards to think about many things in the same light, and he had done his best to forget everything he’d read in that book so he could lead a normal life again. Normal, he scoffed at himself. HA!

*  *  *

It seemed that Fox and his pals were making yet another trip to the hospital.

Gloria Stevens checked in the whole chuffing team plus Bill and Katt, chatting with the Light-Bearers as she did so. “So, got in a little trouble, haven’t they? I thought the Star Fox team could handle Invaders,” she said in conversational tones.

“There weren’t any invaders,” said Fred, confused. “I think he lived there.”

“Oh, it’s too bad Falco’s not here. I wanted to tell him that his pine marten friend is recovering quite nicely. Where is he, anyway?”

Melody and Tiffany did not speak immediately. They were trying to come up with a rhyme for Falco so they could chant annoyingly all afternoon.

“Maybe he was in the tent,” Sam said casually.

“Oh, is that the one they said died?” Sherry commented sweetly.

“Died?” Gloria gaped.

“Oh, but that cheery fellow said he was really a bio-weapon,” Fred murmured.

“It would be just our luck if he really had died,” Helen yelped.

“Balco....calco...dalco....e-alco....fal--nevermind, falco ...halco ...ialco ...jalco...”

Tiffany and Melody racked their brains.

“See you later, Miss Stevens!” Sam waved merrily as the Light-Bearers hopped energetically back to their jets (except for Helen, who slouched and dragged her feet).

*  *  *

A little while later, two doctors arrived to inspect the injuries. Dr. Rose Carter, a lemur, examined and dressed Katt’s wound. The other doctor, Frank, came over shortly. “What do you think, doctor?”

“It’s really ikky,” Rose stuck out her tongue. “It looks like she was shot or something. That bleedin’ hare didn’t look at it or anything, and we found monumental amounts of sedatives in the entire bloody team’s systems! Take away that rabbit’s medical license,” she said angrily.

“He doesn’t have a medical license.”

“Then give him one so you can take it away! I can’t believe that flippin’ bunny did this. What a schlemiel.”

“He was doing his best, doctor. Anyway, it looks like they’ve all got the Grangese fever (they may have contracted it from old medical supplies) and are suffering from extreme cold. The dog (Bill, did they say it was?) appears not to have the Fever, but he looks like he’s got a bad case of influenza. The fox (he’s famous, right? I think I’ve seen him in the paper)...well, anyway, he has a sprained leg, a broken ankle, and a broken rib. We’ll have to operate on the ankle, but the other injuries should heal in a couple weeks or so. We’ll have to keep all of them in the hospital until they’ve recovered, since it looks like they won’t have anyone to take care of them when they go home.”

“Ja, okay.” Rose slapped a band-aid on Katt’s leg and pranced out of the room, followed by Frank.

A day passed, and then two days, and then a week. There was no word from Falco. By medical standards, the team should have healed by then, but for some reason none of them felt very much well.

It was kind of embarrassing for anyone to admit that they missed Falco, so everyone sort of shut up about it, but even Slippy missed his dumb jokes and evil comments.

One night, after downing the tasteless hospital dinner, Fox tried to go to sleep but couldn’t (he’d done so much sleeping on Fortuna he probably wouldn’t be able to sleep for a year). He turned on his little TV, but there was nothing on except a really bad 80’s movie and some fat people linedancing. He sighed and flipped it off, staring out the window.

The stars are really beautiful tonight, Fox thought to himself. In spite of himself he found himself wondering where out there Falco was. He didn’t know that two floors down and across the hallway, Katt was wondering the same thing, and three rooms down from her so was Slippy, and a floor up from him so were Peppy and Bill. Bill hadn’t even known Falco that well, but everyone else’s gloomy spirits sort of rubbed off on him and he had, after all, known Falco in flight school.

Fox felt very resigned to his fate (he was having surgery on his ankle the next morning), and at long last he slipped off to sleep, dreaming of pink elephants and large fluffy apple trees.

author’s note: It would have been more poetic and sentimental to say he was dreaming about happier times or some rot like that, but he wasn’t and I am simply too virtuous to lie to you.

Chapter 9