A SHOCKING TRUE STORY

Okay, so see one time off in the first part of the last century, there was this chick named Lucille Pulte, right? No, seriously, I'm not making it up. Okay, so.

She was only five years old when she first met Mrs. Jones. Her older sister and her sister's friend would constantly leave Lucille all alone in the house to visit this elusive woman. Although she begged again and again, neither of them would ever tell Lucille where Mrs. Jones lived or what was so special about her. She asked them to take her along, but, in typical older sister fashion, the request was denied.

Finally Lucille made up her mind to employ guile, deceit, and treachery, and secretly followed them when the two went to see Mrs. Jones. She managed to stay undetected as they made their way through the field behind the house; in only a few seconds Lucille beheld Mrs. Jones with placid shock, recognising the woman as someone she'd always known as she realised how pathetic her sister and the friend were. However, the secret of Mrs. Jones's identity will always remain a secret to those outside the family. So ha ha.

…but here's a hint. Mrs. Jones is not married to Davy Jones…

Here's another hint. Her first name is John…

And the final hint: at least two, possibly even two point five of her relatives probably live at your house. Indoors, mind you, unlike the Mrs. Jones of the first part of the last century, who had to stay outside.