I guess what I'm trying to say is don't try to respond to the poll anymore... I may revive it one day HERE, but seriously, folks, the AOL server site is stagnant.

Which Boss is the Absolute Champion of Coolth?

Culex- 28.5 votes- 20.65%

The Vandarian Knight came out the clear winner in this contest.  What makes the semi-androgynous interdimensional traveller such a fan favourite?  "She's so strong and her magic attacks are AWESOME!!!" gushes Thah Woman, herself being the first and only person to consider Culex a female.  The challenge of taking down Culex and his crystals was probably the most important factor in why he came out ahead of the pack, with 15 of the 29 who voted for Culex citing the difficulty in defeating him as the reason for their pick.  "He usually woops everyone's little tushies," comments a random fan.  His Final Fantasy-esque heritage also won him support from the public, with 7 of the remaining voters latching onto his BGM from FFII and similarity to some Final Fantasy bosses as their reason for choosing him.  Other vote-winning aspects of Culex were his appearance, crystals, and name... that, when said out loud, could be interpreted as Cool Ex.  ....right. (Adamboyy voted twice [for different people... remind us of anySisterPinkone?  I'm not Sister Pink mentioning any Sister Pink names....] so Culex only gets half a vote from him!)

Bowyer- 22 votes- 15.94%

While Culex's victory comes with a margin that should be satisfactory to his devotees, Bowyer follows at a respectable distance in second place, which makes him the most demographically popular of the mainstream bosses.  ^_^  Little Round Feet garnered him at least two votes, and his manner of speaking six more.  The fact that Geno's debut is directly tied in with Bowyer was a deciding factor in swaying five responders in the slightly dyslexic bow's direction.  I think Jinjo said it best with her comment: "Give me a cooler boss than an 8-foot-tall, Barney-striped, wall-eyed, arrow-shooting worm guy and... well, I'll disagree. So there. Ppbbtthh."

Axem Rangers- 14 votes- 10.13%

What does the public like about Axem Rangers?  Their fantastic motto played an important role in boosting their image, as did Axem Yellow's resemblance to... a dumpling?  One Axem fan had a bit of criticism for the team: "However, to become the master of villainness, they need to lose Axem Pink.  I mean, why wear makeup when fighting?"  But you see, dear, without Axem Pink, they wouldn't have a villainess at all!  ::falls over laughing::  ...I slay me.

Smithy- 10.5 votes- 7.6%

What's the world coming to when the final boss doesn't even make the top three?  Adamboyy, who, as mentioned, voted twice just like someone Sister Pink else whom I'm Sister Pink not going to mention did in a previous Sister Pink poll.  His comment?  "He understands the right of honour."  That's news to me... were you thinking of Boomer, Adam?  Oh well.  The fact that he has both a head and a body struck a few out of the populace as being a cool thing.  O_o

Bowser- 7 votes- 5.1%

Tied for fifth place are Bowser and Johnny!  What's so great about the Koopa King?
...what's NOT?!  Just the fact that he's BOWSER got him a vote, and the word "because" earned him another.  Toadstool says: "Bowser's not really a boss, but since you fight the guy at the beginning, I consider him a boss. So since I love Bowser, he's the grooviest boss. Got that?"  Toadstool!  We had no idea!  What will Mario think?!  And finally, Bowser's fashion sense scored another vote from a chappie who typed in all caps.  His closing: "BOWSER ALL THE WAY.  WHO OBJECTS?"  I can't say I do!

Johnny Jones

Jonathan's sense of fair play, fun, and skill at poker were just a few reasons why people voted for the piratical shark king.  His stand against Yaridovich and friendship with Mario were also good reasons to choose him.  ^_^

Belome- 6 votes- 4.35%

And in seventh place is everyone's favourite four-multiple puppy!  His cloning skills and acknowledgement of the sundry flavours of Your Party won admiration from fans, as did his PRECIOUSNESS!!  ::hugs Belome::

Croco- 5 votes- 3.62%

People liked Croco because he steals from Mario.  O_o  And, as one meek gamer humble admitted, "he's the only one I can beat."

Axem Black- 4 votes- 2.9%

A total of five bosses hold the ninth place spot with a measly percentage of not quite 3% of the total each.  But hey, it's better than nothing!  Deep respect and admiration to Axem Black for being the only solo Axem to win individual fans.

Yaridovich

The eclectic appearance of the maybe robot, maybe lance, maybe spear, maybe who the heck knows cove attracted a few supporters.  For future reference, Yaridovich-in-disguise doesn't beat the crud out of the Elder if you refuse to give him your star-- he tickles him.  x_o

Bundt

The main reason some people voted for Bundt is because he's a delicious cake.

Booster

He's stupid and funny and insane and he has the Snifits!  How can it get better...?  

Mack the Knife

He's Mack the Knife, which is enough for some people.  Plus he has Shysters.

Jinx- 3 votes- 2.17%

We're starting to get into the real losers... well, it could be worse, I mean, some bosses didn't get any votes at *all*.  One fellow is reminded of DBZ by Jinx because of the term "ki" and the energy blast... I hate to break it to you, but ki's a generic martial arts term and  ki blasts are a common element in martial arts anime/manga.  And anyway Vegeta's the only good character... of course, I don't know much about it... *hum*  One Jinx fan said as follows: "He's so tiny and cute but he's very tough!  Just imagine, that little guy taking like 100 HP off of you!  He's adorable!" I would have to agree...

Exor

Exor's high HP, apperance, and strategic battle were the votin' factors.

Hammer Brothers

They're far out!  As one Hammer enthusiast remarked rather long-windedly, "they're the only boss I can really beat under a minute.. And if I want, I can simply start a new game and go beat 'em up again.. Over, and over, and over... And over. Then mabye a few more times, just for fun. Oh! And they give me a weapon when I kill 'em.. And 'cause they make me feel good 'cause I get to save that little shroom dude. Not to mention, I realize their struggle for more evil evil power, but they wind up the weakest.. It's so sad. And, uhm, lemme think here.. Oh! I also think they're special. Because everybody's special in one way or another. Did I leave anything out? I feel like I left something out..."  I concur.

Punchinello

Punchinello got votes because he's bombalicious and a nuthead.  ^_^

Valentina- 2 votes- 1.45%

Half of Valentina's fans says:  "She's just SO evil, and she wasn't one of those stupid weapons made by Smithy, either. Plus she could get real witchy and start screaming with her high-pitched voice and kill everyone, but she doesn't."  But how do you know she has a high-pitched voice?  She might be a contralto!  You just never know.

One Vote Losers (0.72% each)

Gunyolk

Well.... it's kinda cute...

Czar Dragon

Zombone's swanky.

I can't pick one, they're all cool!

I know how you feel, but you're not doing any good by wasting your vote this way. ;o  You probably voted Libertarian too...

Mallow

...I do not even want to KNOW.

Which of the 5 party members would make the best president of the United States of Americker?

33%- Geno

Geno came out the clear winner in this round; however, he doesn't have the 2/3 majority required by Congress, so he still wouldn't get to be President.  :Þ  People thought Geno'd do well in the oval office because "[they] think he's diplomatic in a way," "he's cool and he's got some of the best spells," "he cares about everyone," "[he] is very smart....and he's real cool," "[he's] the best," "everything cute and smart is a democrat (obviously implying that Geno is cute, smart, AND a democrat, although the grammatical structure is deceptive)," "because everyone else reeks compared to him," "he's serious," and finally "because [he] is [their] favourite character."   Yes, I edited those.  Why?  Some of the longer comments include:

"He's spiffy! Geno vo vora maiin! ((...is the man!)) He's my fav'ryte guy in the whole game! And hey, if he can manage to be so well involved with the Star Road, he can pull off being the Prez, aia? And he doesn't need to be either Rep. or Dem., people! Kala... he's above that kind of foolishness. Che?"
"Ah reckon Geno'd make thu best prez-e-dent cuz him'z a demokrat anz espeshally cuz himz izzent an amereekan!"
"I think Geno would make the best president because once he leaves the doll he's a star, and no one could see what he does and all. Plus he dresses the coolest!"
"I tell you what, I'm from Arkansas, and with recent political squabbles, I say proudly and HONESTLY GENO!!!!!!!!!!  This is because he's really a star person and if he wanted he could leave the doll or whatever he was inhabiting and go do stuff and no one would see, so no one could do anything about it . Capiche???"

Obviously the Geno fans are expecting that he's planning to go do stuff that people would mind if they knew about it.... well, whatever rocks your boat, I suppose.  Wait, that's not the expression, is it?  Oh well...  

As for Geno's political party, 30.7% of his supporters claim he's a Democrat while 23% maintain that he's Republican and 46.5% are undecided/other.

23.08%- Bowser

Next in line for the presidency is Bowser, that megalomaniacal Koopa king.  All I can say is that he's got my vote.   ^_^()  According to just a few of Bowser's staunch political allies, "he's the best (apparently dethroning Geno from "the best" seat allotted to him precedingly)," "he is pure evil just like other Republicans (obviously operating under the assumption that Bowser is a Republican)," "[he] is da bomb," "he would be a tough and very cool leader," and, lastly, "he... has experience because he is a king."  Additional personal comments from some of Bowser's more long-winded voters include (but are not limited to) the following:

"He's a cool villian and makes a good hero with a rough spot.  I sometimes think of him as the magic-user in the game, based for most fantasy RPGs. And it's cute if he accidentally kisses Mario, thinking it's the Princess, and she's cracking up. Oh dear!"
"All political leaders today are such jerks, Bowser fits the bill perfectly!"
"Bowser would be the best because he'd have gov't conspiracies (do you really think he'd care about what the people think of his actions?), the laws would be more strictly enforced(the Koopalings would be helping him!), and he would actually concentrate on our country instead of other countries. Not to mention the fact that...BOWSER RULEZ!!!"
"Well..... I mean, he's just so.... charming!  And baby, if anyone's cut out to be a world dictator, it's HIM!" (Yeah, that was me.  Gotta problem?)

And this lovely comment from a delightful young man who said simply:
"CORRUPTION!
DEATH!
HAHAHAHA!"

Ah, youth in America.  ¬.¬()

Anyway, 33% of Bowser's friends in low places say Republican, 22% are for a Democratic turtle king, and 45% had no response or were independent or something like that.

18.32% Toadstool

While her status didn't manage to garner enough political support to win the presidency, the peachy princess of the Mushroom Kingdom is not without a certain amount of state influence, as her royal position would imply.  As far as concise comments on the benevolence of our beloved Princess go, "she is woman, hear her roar,"  "she's a female and all the other presidents have been male," "she's a princess; she must have had to make decisions," "she is already very experienced in this kind of work," "she... tries to be fair to everyone," and, most importantly, "she smites evil in the face."  Now on to those charming paragraphs from unwavering Toadstool adherents!

"Well, Princess Toadstool is one of my aliases, dahlings, so of course Toadstool would be the best at president! And she would rule the world with peace and love and happiness and grooviness and all that groovy stuff, so that's my opinion, HAHAHA, and there's nothing you can do to change it HAHAHA!!!!!!!!"
"Toadstool is definitely the pick, and plus she's a GIRL! Girls would really do MUCH better at running the country than a bunch of boys!"
"My goodness, this is a simple one. Toadstool is the obvious choice. She has a ruling backround unlike the others." (this person seems to have forgotten that Bowser's been running his own country for several years now WITHOUT the help of his daddy, but....)
"Toadstool is a princess and she has more experience in leading a kindom than Mallow or Bowser (all of his schemes never work)." (Now you see, THIS person takes into account the ruling backgrounds of Mallow and Bowser, but gives a reason as to why she's a better choice than those two.  Not that I agree, I'm just commending this person's superb logic.)

While it's true that the majority of Toadstool's acolytes (57.1%) didn't comment on her political party, 28.6% of them DID believe her to be Republican while 14.3%, of course, were pushing for the Democrat in her.

17.9% Mario

This plumber may be Italian by background, but he's a legal American citizen and the only one of the lot.  That really means that of the  five party members, only he is even eligible for the presidency at this point, but even THAT fact didn't win the election for him.  However, his fans did have this to say in his favor: "he's a really good leader," "he'd never cheat on Princess Toadstool...would he? :-)" and "he's the star [DUH!]"  Other observations include:

"Let's face it. Mario has done everything. So why not politics?"
"Let's face it; he's the guy who always saves the Mushroom World. Doesn't he deserve some respect?!"
"He jumps.  I say he should dress up as a frog and hop around eating flies.  I don't know but it sure is funny." (Well, I'm ASSUMING this last comment is from a Mario supporter, but who can tell?!)

As you can see, the three Mario favourers with more to say than the others either wanted us to face something or were apparently in some form of a drunken stupor.  ::shrugs::  

Of Mario's allies, a majority (42.9%) claims Republicanism for our Italian plumber.  Of course, it's only a majority by .01%, closely beating out those who made no comment as to party.  Only 14.3% believe Mario to be a Democrat.

7.7%- Mallow

Bringing up the rear is Mallow in a distant 5th.  Heck, I love Mallow as much as anyone, but he doesn't yet have the maturity to handle a country.  Of course, one might say the same of Bill Clinton, so I guess I have to withdraw that comment.  But his followers still maintain that "he's the cloud in the house!!" and he should be president simply "because."  One of his stricter disciples remarked that "they wouldn´t listen... THE ATTACK OF THE KIRBY-CLONE HAS BEGUN!!!!!!!"

Yeah, only three people voted for Mallow... gotta problem?  So 33.333...% are undecided about political parties, 33.333...% more say Republican for the precious puffball, and the final third are betting on Anarcho-Socialism for the 21st century.

Should the Snifits dress up like Team Rocket and run around the Mushroom World wreaking havoc and stealing Pokémon?

65%- Yes, and they should write themselves a motto, and Snifit 2 should carry a rose, and Snifit 1 should dress up like Meowth, and Snifit 3 should hit people with a paper fan.

Whoa! Vast majority here, most of them had no comment. As for the rest? Here's what the "All Of the Above" opters who actually commented said:

My hyper friend Unicorn Luver who's actually never played SMRPG said this: "Yes, yes, a thousand times yes! Of course they should make motto and Snifit 2 should carry a rose and Snifit 3 should hit people with a fan and Snifit 1 should dress up like Meowth! Of course, Snifit 2 should also wear a dress. ^_^ Of course, I'm a pokémaniac, and I would say that, but anyhoo, what do the Snifits look like? Well, I bet they're groovy."

Axem Pink, whom I don't know, simply said "Groovy!"

Then my insane friend Cassie4J said: "I think all of the previouse answers are fine! Great even! I abso-spiffin'-lutly agree with them... but the snifts should "Blast off" when they're defeated!
'I bring mushroom kingdom to Devastation;
and protect Bowser's Castle from anilation!
To denounce the evils of mushrooms who shove!
To extend our reach to the star road above!
Snifts One, Two, And Three! Blasting off at the speed of Boshi!
Surrender now or prepair to fight me!
Snift one, I see!'"

YoshiB implores: "They should also get their own uniforms."

8%- No

Our beloved Dr. Topper had this explanation for his choice! "Not really, dear. First, I'd be the first one to admit that Team Rocket is the grooviest bad guy/girl team, like, ever, but if others started copying, then wouldn't that sort of desecrate the whole image? I mean, you have James the cross-dresser, Jessie the female, and Meowth, the only Pokémon who can think for himself. But what unique, interesting personality traits do the Snifits have? Sure, Snifit #3 is a little slow, which there's NOTHING WRONG WITH, but that's pretty much it. Besides, as far as I know, there are no Pokémon in the Mushroom world, right? So though it might be cool for a while, I think that those ideas should stay in their respective universes, and we'll all lead happier, groovier lives. Furthermore, I agree with everything I have just said."

And a silly head who didn't leave a name proclaimed that "they should go to Pokemon World and beat up Gary for being a wimp, because he's never on the show."  Gary is SO not a wimp.  Bite your tongue.

4%- Yes, and Snifit 2 should carry a rose

Among the rose voters, only one commented: Sister Pink, with her "Roses are groovy, so I DEFINITELY think that Snifit 2 should carry a rose."

4%- Yes, and they should write themselves a motto

Bowser said this: "Because they appear many times and there many of them." That was it.

4%- Yes, and Snifit 1 should dress up like Meowth

Meowth fans had nothing to say.

4%- Yes, and Snifit 3 should hit people with a paper fan

Fan fans (?) didn't, either.

4%- No, they should join the real Team Rocket

Here's food for thought, words spoken by none other than Sabregirl. "The snifits should try to join Team Rocket. They would succeed except Giovanni is allergic to Snifits."

2%- Huh?

I think the heading says it all.

1%- No, they should dress up as Snifits and run around Booster Tower

Please don't ask me, because I don't know.

Who's the most swingin': The Shaman, the Snifits, the Pirate Sharks, or the Shy Away?

29.2% The Pirate Sharks

The groovy-looking Pirate Sharks took a third of the votes to win! Here's why they came out on top: "'Cuz they're cool looking, and they're Johnny's mates! What better reason?! ;)"
"ARRR!! MATEY, HE'S THE BEST."
"because it has a large gang and is the only one that if you stand on his head and talk to him he will not like it"
"They look "groovy"."
"they are real cool"
"They look GROOVY!"

I wonder if they look groovy?

27.1% The Snifits

Booster's three helpers (and, of course, other four helpers and would-be Snifit) took second place. Admirers of the trio went on and on about how magnificent they were with such comments as these:

"I don't know I've never played SMRPG, but they sound the grooviest."
"They are just silly and they are cool!"
"They spit bullets, wear black, have no brains and I dunno... they're just coo!"
Snifit 9 itself said this: "uhhh...well im a Snifit and if I said something else the other Snifits would hate me...besides SNIFITS RULE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
and, of course, my own comment... "They're so psychedelic and CUUUUTE!"

22.9% The Shy Away

Fans of this craven caretaker had many glowing things to say about him!

"I like the name!" says one.
"Because he's always scared when Mario shows up," is another Shy Away admirer's observation.
"He's soooo cute!" gushed a certain Pink sister who voted TWICE in this poll, but for different people.
"Because they have a laid back atittude, and like, they aren't afraid to run away from stuff......Besides, they are just plain cool....."
"Because they fly!"
"BECAUSE THATS ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The last one was made by a disgruntled Shy Away.

20.8% The Shaman

The Shaman's followers cite several reasons as to why this mage is the swingin'-est.

Here's what that groovy Titan of Trivia, that Baron of Befuddlement, the Quiz Master himself, had to say! "Mostly, because they're the only characters who help you out, then later turn evil and fight you. In the Nimbus palace before I beat Valentina, I remember thinking, "Hey, major on the grooves, it's a Shaman!" I walked right up to it, and BOOM! it started fighting me! Then it brings out these groovy magic spells... 'course, they couldn't do jack to me at that point, but they're still groovy." YOU GO, DR. T!!!

An ungrammatical person who will remain nameless except that their name starts with an S and ends with a K and has an ister Pin in between and voted twice said this: "Well, I like 'em all, but the Shamans are the absolute cutest!! They are also real powerful with all their spells..." I only included BOTH of her comments because I felt sure that she would never do such a thing again... and I only gave half a vote to each of them. :Þ

A Guy says this: "I think they are the "grooviest" because they are smart enough to run things like the Sky bridge and the Fortune Telling place, and are mysterious because you never see their faces."

Punchinello likes the Shaman because of "His clothing."

Which Crystal is grooviest?

33.3%- Wind Crystal

Some comments included: "because it has the best powers," "Well, cause it's kinda kewl, and it took me 2 hours to destroy it. Yes, that's not a lie! Every time I hit him it took off 5 HP! And cause of the spells he did...Those were killer!" (quite a comment there) "It has the cool sci-fi magic attacks!" and "Because I dig green and green is GROOVY and I also dig wind a lot because wind is groovy too! So who the HOLLAND else should I like best?" (that last one was mine. >^..^<)

26.6%- Water Crystal

When asked why, the watery fans gave some of these answers: "Because water is groovy!" "Cause it got ice rock and is kool," "the water crystal is cool because you can use a harmless elemnt like water and kill all your people and [tick] you off." Others gave no response.

26.6%- Fire Crystal

Fans of the pyro gave some of these reasons: "Because with the right armor it can't hurt you," "I don't know. I've never played SMRPG," "hes on fire," "I love the cool special attacks and it`s the strongest." An interesting note is that most of the answers ended with a period, while responses under other crystals mostly were not punctuated at all or ended in exclamation points. Perhaps fans of this crystal are more grammatically subdued.

13.5%- Earth Crystal

Earth Crystal was slightly behind his buddies, but his fans had this to say: "Because Earth Crystal understands that we need to protect our planet and stay away from harmful polutants like hairspray and cars and Big ugly BUGS!!! AAAAAAH!!!! KEEP THEM AWAY!!!!" "I don't know,I guess I like the spells he has." And that was IT. ¡Pobre Terra Cristal!

Which Snifit is the best?

46.2% Snifit 8

When asked why they liked Snifit 8, these were among the replies: "Because you feel sorry for him", "Unlike anyone else, he drowns his sorrows in the arcade", "Because he understands the agony of working your bum off for something and having it blow up in your face. And this is a very important lesson for us all to learn, so he is wiser an more emotionally mature than the other Snifits." Others gave no response.

30.8% Snifit 3

Some reasons were: "He doesn't quite match the other Snifits," "Because he is stupid," "Because he's funny and he has no clue as to what he is doing," and "Because he's so cuuute!"

7.7% Snifit 1: No reason given

7.7% Snifit 4: "No reason, I just like the number 4."

7.7% Snifit 6: "Because he's the smartest and the coolest."

What's the best music in SMRPG?

17.56%~ Culex Battle Music
13.94%~ Ending Theme
9.45%~ Culex Theme
9.45%~ Smithy Gang Battle Music (Bowyer, etc.)
8.1%~ Booster Tower (not lobby)
5.4%~ Opening theme
5.4%~ Forest Maze
5.4%~ Smithy Factory
4%~ Sad Theme
4%~ Bowser Fight (actually from SMB3, but who cares...)
4%~ Every flipping tune in the entire flipping game
4%~ Smithy Battle
4%~ Regular Battle
2.7%~ Nimbus Land theme
1.3%~ Mushroom Way/Rose Way/Booster Pass/etc.
1.3%~ Culex Victory Theme