shounen yo shinwa ni nare

It's the one place your enemies thought you could never reach.  The one weak point they thought you would never exploit.  The last stronghold they possess that they wanted to believe would always remain completely their own...

...their thoughts.  But it's all laid bare now.  All their secret desires.  Hidden motives.  Angst.  Non-sensical one-liners that happened because the creators were drunk.  That's right.  The last shattered vestiges of that final intensely private aspect of all living beings as it relates to every enemy and boss in the game, organised alphabetically; it's all here.  You should note that any grammatical or spelling errors are NOT MY FAULT; I copy it down like it is, and brains (most brains, anyway) don't come with grammar check.  The enemies from the first go-round at Bowser's Keep aren't listed for obvious reasons, but other than that, everyone is present and accounted for.

So go on... spy.  You know you want to.

name HP location thoughts
Alley Rat 105 Sunken Ship Don't pity me, Mario!
Amanita 52 Forest Maze Gotta work on my tan!
Ameboid 220 Factory Get outta my face!
Apprentice 120 Booster Pass I've had ENOUGH.
Arachne 82 Rose Way ¯Day-o...
Artichoker 200 Booster Pass Relax a little, okay?
Axem Black 550 Barrel Volcano You're timing stinks!
Axem Green 450 Barrel Volcano Are we done here?
Axem Pink 400 Barrel Volcano Red, WRONG POSITION!
Axem Rangers 999 Barrel Volcano It's a melee!
Axem Red 800 Barrel Volcano I'm all thumbs today.
Axem Yellow 600 Barrel Volcano We're lookin' GOOD!
Bahamutt 500 Bowser's Keep Give me a chance, here.
Bandana Blue 150 Sunken Ship Color me Blue, mates!
Bandana Red 120 Sunken Ship I love the color RED!
Belome 500 Kero Sewers I just...wanna sleep.
Belome (II) 1200 Belome Temple Gotta yummy in my tummy!
Big Bertha 350 Bowser's Keep Adabing, ADABANG!
Birdo 777 Nimbus Land I just love life!
Birdy 150 Nimbus Land I HATE Valentina.
Blaster 120 Booster Tower Wanna join me?
Bloober 130 Sea I love floating around!
Bluebird 200 Nimbus Land You are...magnificent
Bob-Omb 90 Pipe Vault Ouch.  HEY! Watch it!
Body 300 Barrel Volcano ......
Bodyguard 30 Mushroom Kingdom Boing, boing, boing.
Boomer 2000 Bowser's Keep It's all over now...
Booster 800 Booster Tower This is like realizing you're outside without your clothes on!
Bowser Clone 300 Belome Temple castle...
Bowyer 720 Forest Maze What's with these folks?
Box Boy 900 Bean Valley Been waitin' 100 years!
Bundt 900 Marrymore Congratulations.
Bundt (candles) 0 Marrymore Congratulations.
Buzzer 43 Forest Maze Buzzzzz...
Carroboscis 90 Booster Pass I ALWAYS eat my vegetables!
Chained Kong 355 Barrel Volcano A tad warm, isn't it?!
Chester 1200 Bowser's Keep I love my job! ©
Chewy 90 Bean Valley I'm just a fresh flower.
Chomp 100 Booster Tower Workin' on a chain gang.
Chomp Chomp 150 Bean Valley Hey, let's PLAY!
Chow 80 Land's End Hey, I fought you already!
Clerk 500 Factory 10 years I've been here!
Cloaker 1200 Factory I love cold hard steel!
Cluster 60 Coal Mines I'll psyche you out!
Corpdekite 200 Barrel Volcano Off! FORGET IT!
Count Down 2400 Factory We're into overtime!
Croco 320 Bandit's Way Gosh, I'm good!
Croco (II) 750 Coal Mines Ooh! I'm good!
Crook 38 Rose Way You can't run away! Ha!
Crusty 80 Sunken Ship/Sea Look at THIS!
Culex 4096 Monstro Town A little off, eh?
Czar Dragon 1400 Barrel Volcano Flamin' hot, right at ya!
Ding-a-ling 1200 Factory Wake up sleepy heads!
Director 1000 Factory I just lost EVERYTHING.
Dodo 800 Nimbus Land I'm STARVED!
Dodo (III) 1000 Nimbus Land I'm starved...later!
Domino 900 Factory MAGIC! DEAL with it!
Doppel 333 Factory This's been a bad year!
Dry Bones 0 Sunken Ship I'm sick of gettin' hit!
Earth Crystal 3200 Monstro Town I hate being awakened!
Earth Link 2500 Factory What a royal pain!
Eggbert 10 Nimbus Land What a glorious day!
Exor 1800 Bowser's Keep Gotta mow the lawn soon.
Factory Chief 1000 Factory Who DARES to fight ME?!
Fautso 420 Bean Valley Thanks to you I'm free!
Fink Flower 200 Land's End Gimme your best shot!
Fire Crystal 2500 Monstro Town I gotta vacuum tonight!
Fireball 10 Booster Tower Blurb blurb blurb...
Forkies 350 Bowser's Keep Shikashikashika~~!
Formless 10 Land's End I have a secret!
Frogog 80 Bandit's Way This bright sunlight better not fry me!
Geckit 100 Land's End Geck...Geck...GOCK?
Gecko 92 Star Hill Red? What about Green?
Geno Clone 250 Belome Temple Star Pieces...Star...
Glum Reaper 180 Bowser's Keep Comin through...
Goby 40 Kero Sewers Blub blub blub...
Goomba 16 Mushroom Way Goomba gumba...phew!
Goombette 100 Sunken Ship Me speak soft, BIG STICK!
Gorgon 140 Sunken Ship I just wanna go home.
Grate Guy 900 Booster Tower Peace is just a dream.
Greaper 148 Sunken Ship Any reaping to be done?
Gu Goomba 132 Bowser's Keep Hey, maybe I CAN win!
Guerrilla 135 Forest Maze Don't confuse me with someone else!
Gunyolk 1500 Factory If we're beaten, the boss is alone!
Heavy Troopa 250 Nimbus Land I'll make ya beautiful!
Hidon 600 Sunken Ship You wanna run, huh?!
Hobgoblin 50 Kero Sewers Havin' a blast today!
Jabit 150 Factory This is the pits!
Jagger 600 Monstro Town Oh! I'm so excited!
Jawful 278 Nimbus Land Huh?
Jester 151 Booster Tower I've failed my King...
Jinx 600 Monstro Town You're just a beginner!
Jinx (II) 800 Monstro Town Sympathy!? Not from me!
Jinx (III) 1000 Monstro Town Ooh! I'm gonna hurt ya!
Johnny 820 Sunken Ship Whoa! It's all over.
K-9 30 Mushroom Way May I take a BITE?
King Bomb 500 Bowser's Keep I LIVE to explode!
King Calamari 800 Sunken Ship The ship's MINE! SCRAM!
Knife Guy 700 Booster Tower Happiness is hip!
Kriffid 320 Bean Valley Aloe~ there!
Lakitu 124 Booster Pass Why do people hate me?
Left Eye 300 Bowser's Keep I can't see a thing!
Leuko 220 Sea Floating's a bad habit.
Li'l Boo 66 Factory Beep pa doodle-dee! ¯
Machine Made (Axem Black) 120 Factory Will I make the team?
Machine Made (Axem Green) 80 Factory Whew! Vertigo!
Machine Made (Axem Pink) 100 Factory Oh! My makeup!
Machine Made (Axem Red) 180 Factory Gotta fight for evil!
Machine Made (Axem Yellow) 200 Factory I'm STARVED!
Machine Made (Bowyer) 1000 Factory Nya! I'll SNUFF ya! NYA!
Machine Made (Drill Bit) 180 Factory Look out, LOSERS!
Machine Made (Mack) 300 Factory Mario! I'm BAAAAAAAACK!
Machine Made (Shyster) 100 Factory Boing, boing, boing.
Machine Made (Yaridovich) 800 Factory My promotion's at stake!
Mack 480 Mushroom Kingdom Boing, boing, boing.
Mad Adder 1500 Factory I'm alive and kicking.
Mad Mallet 200 Factory Work, work, work...
Magikoopa 1600 Bowser's Keep That' child?
Magmite 26 Coal Mines Got a thorn in my foot.
Magmus 50 Barrel Volcano Clobber me for good life!
Mallow Clone 150 Belome Temple Ma? Pa? Where are ya?
Malakoopa 95 Bowser's Keep Just call me "General!"
Manager 800 Factory 25 years of working, sigh.
Mario Clone 200 Belome Temple ......
Mastadoom 180 Star Hill Phew, I'm FREEZING...
Megasmilax 1000 Bean Valley I was a water baby!
Mezzo Bomb 150 Coal Mines Look out!
Microbomb 30 Coal Mines Small is as small does.
Mokura 620 Land's End Mwa ha ha...
Mr. Kipper 133 Sea I'm a fresh little fish.
Muckle 320 Nimbus Land Gotta know your limits.
Mukumuku 108 Star Hill Ya trying to bug me?!
Neosquid 800 Bowser's Keep I'm so utterly alone...
Ninja 235 Factory Wooo HOOO! I'm a FOO!
Octolot 99 Forest Maze Check out my legs!
Octovader 250 Land's End I'm a part-time typist!
Oerlikon 85 Barrel Volcano I live to eat.
Orb User 8 Booster Tower I hate Kinklinks!
Orbison 30 Nimbus Land Don't jump on me!
Pandorite 300 Kero Sewers I'm trying to sleep, OK?
Pinwheel 99 Nimbus Land What a day it's been...
Pirahna Plant 168 Pipe Vault Pretty boring nowadays.
Pounder 180 Factory Wham bam SLAM!
Poundette 150 Factory Love conquers ALL.
Pulsar 69 Star Hill I'm a mini-pulsar.
Punchinello 1200 Coal Mines Yeeha! I see we're already famous!
Puppox 300 Factory What does it all MEAN?
Pyrosphere 167 Barrel Volcano Vroom, VROOM!!
Raspberry 600 Marrymore Congratulations!
Rat Funk 32 Kero Sewers Squeek, squeek...
Reacher 184 Sunken Ship Hope you'll stay close!
Remo Con 88 Booster Tower The world is history.
Ribbite 250 Land's End My dad says, "Hello."
Right Eye 500 Bowser's Keep I've got an astigmatism!
Rob-Omb 42 Booster Tower Disappear? Maybe later!
Sackit 152 Star Hill This is just how I am.
Shadow 85 Kero Sewers You're a model, right?
Shaman 150 Nimbus Land I'm losing this fight!
Shelly 500 Nimbus Land Slow down!
Shogun 150 Land's End Do as you like.
Shy Away 140 Land's End La Dee Dah~ Ha Ha.
Shy Guy 78 Rose Way Hold still, okay?!
Shy Ranger 300 Pipe Vault Transmitting information. Over and out.
Shyper 400 Factory Ooh! This'll be fun!
Shyster 30 Mushroom Kingdom Boing, boing, boing.
Sky Troopa 10 Mushroom Way What a gorgeous day!
Sling Shy 120 Nimbus Land Hear my song.
Smelter 1500 Factory I brush after each meal!
Smilax 200 Bean Valley Turn your eyes!
Smithy (Santa) 2000 Factory Eh?! Not bad!
Smithy (body) 1000 under the Factory What a heavy head!
Smithy (coffin/vault head) 8000 under the Factory Nothin' can hurt me!
Smithy (magic head) 8000 under the Factory Good magic, bad defense.
Smithy (tank head) 8000 under the Factory Don't shock me! DON'T!
Smithy (treasure box head) 8000 under the Factory What's hidden inside?!
Snapdragon 90 Rose Way I did a lot in my youth.
Snifit 200 Booster Tower Minimum wage for THIS?!
Sparky 120 Pipe Vault Fire EVERYWHERE!
Spikester 50 Booster Pass Why, you're AFRAID of me!
Spikey 20 Bandit's Way Just try and jump on me!
Spinthra 230 Land's End Oh! I'm gonna poison ya!
Spookum 98 Booster Tower Que pasa?
Springer 122 Factory What's going on here?
Star Cruster 72 Bowser's Keep I'M NOT A CRAB!!
Starslap 60 Rose Way They think I'm goofy...
Stinger 65 Land's End Strike the pose!
Straw Head 131 Sunken Ship Gotta press this shirt!
Stumpet 500 Barrel Volcano Express yourself!
Tentacles (left) 200 Sunken Ship You wouldn't...EAT me?!
Terra Cotta 180 Bowser's Keep Oh, Mr. Bowser~~
The Big Boo 43 Kero Sewers Stop staring at me!
Toadstool 2 120 Belome Temple It's tough to be pretty!
Torte 100 Marrymore Cake! Vatch zee CAKE.
Tub-O-Troopa 500 Bowser's Keep My shell's shot!
Water Crystal 1600 Monstro Town Get me back underground!
Wiggler 120 Forest Maze I'm just a helpless wiggler...
Wind Crystal 800 Monstro Town Whhhhhhooooo...
Valentina 2000 Nimbus Land I tell ya, he's NOTHING!
Vomer 0 Barrel Volcano Nobody, NOBODY likes me.
Yaridovich 1500 Seaside Town My promotion's at stake!
Yaridovich (fake) 500 Seaside Town I'm not the real McCoy!
Zeostar 90 Sea Oh, I can't stand him!
Zombone 1800 Barrel Volcano Hey! We're not done yet!