26 Dec 01

HelLO San Dimas High School! O_O I was just watchin' Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure that mum got on DVD for Christmas. What a great movie, eh! It makes me like the 80s! Wa ha ha ha!

The Christmas List
As exposition to the Austin Relative Gift Exchange-- well, there's us in S.A., and in Austin we have Chris, Ron, Grace, and Mallory (one family), Steve, Jean, Dan and Mike (another family), and Cassie, Vicente, and Donovan (another family). So what we do is draw names and everybody gives a present to someone else instead of everyone getting a present for everyone and stuff. So I gave a present to Ron and Jean gave a present to me, and stuff. Laa. Jean *always* gets me a present. I think the drawing is fixed...? It's just strange. This is at least the fourth time she's had my name in the gift exchange.

Anyway, I'm writing this IN Austin on Chrissy's computer. Second journal entry from this location, w00t! We're stayin' da night.

About the magical yesterday, j0! Christmas morning started around 10 am because, in contrast with olde times in which AnJa and self would go to bed early on Christmas Eve but be unable to sleep and then wake up around 6 am to start Christmas, we both stayed up until like 3 am and slept until Dad woke AnJa up by calling her on her cell phone from downstairs XD After we opened stuff, we played a game mum gave everyone called Malarky. It was strange o_o But fun, cos we always have fun when we hang out together. Which is strange considering we're immediate family. WA HA HA HA HA HA And after that I set up my GameCube and played Luigi's Mansion ALL DAY LONG. We had breakfast around 1 pm. Wa ha. So I was playin' and groovin' and mum was like "I guess I should start supper" and I was like "Huh?" and she was like "What, you thought we weren't going to eat today?" and I was like "Well no, but it's not nearly time for supper!" because I thought it was like 2 in the afternoon. But it turns out it was 5.30 x_x Luigi's Mansion is very engrossing ^_^() I've almost beaten it too. Eh heh. But it's wonderful, eh!! Luigi has such a cute personality o_o Like Sam in Lord of the Rings. Luigi was great in those old Nintendo Adventure Books. I miss those... I'm missing four of them because they went out of print before I ever got them, and it makes me sad because more than likely I won't ever get to read them. Lemme go see if I can find them online. (Wa ha ha!) *pause* SCORE! Looks like I can find 'em. They're all somewhat at Amazon.com, but for Doors to Doom (one of those I don't have), they've got only one, it's used, and the price is? $51.75. AI YAA! I think that might be a mistake since the customer product description says something about textbooks ;p The two Zelda ones are both $7 used, and the other Mario one is $12. I think I'll ask for them for my birthday which is coming up on 28 January! Hurray! Hmm, at Half.com, Doors to Doom is selling for $25. x_x Something about that particular book no-one is telling me? ::looks at Barnes and Noble and alibris:: How strange. From what I see at B&N and Amazon.... #5, Pipe Down, isn't even out of print and it only costs $3.50. Why would that one still be in production and not the others? Too bad it's one I've got, anyway. I will search more sites. How strange! Best Web Buys returns ONLY Pipe Down for a search on "Nintendo Adventure," and none of these sites list it as out of print. ecampus calls it a "special order," but that's the extent of anything that would make the book seem anything out of the ordinary. I will search more sites again. Did you know that Nintendo zapped an American industry, captured your dollars, and enslaved your children? David Sheff did. Bah, I've done all I can for now.

Well, since you didn't get any philosophy last entry, I've decided to include some in this one. Last night I just had a thought that people are defined more by what they love than by what they create. There's somehow more of themselves in what they love than there is in what they make. That sprang from a thought that you really can tell a lot about a person by the kind of music they like, you know? Maybe everyone's personal identity is really just the sum of all the things they love. As for the creation thing... well, we don't always love what we create. I mean, I've written and drawn a lot of things, but I *love* very few of them. And I've written a couple of songs, but I feel like the songs I just dig have more to do with who I really am than the songs I wrote. It was just a strange thought I had. *shrug*

Subtle melancholy runs deeper. My pets are all very old... Kitty (cat, duh) is 14, Cutie (also cat) is 13, and Pooh (dog) is 11. I know cats and dogs can live to be 20 years old, and I hope with all my heart that mine will... but the problem is, they're already old, and I think they're in pain a lot of the time... Pooh has arthritis and has trouble going up the stairs and getting in the car and stuff. Kitty can't jump well anymore (when she was young, she could jump from the ground to the roof of the house) and I think her hips hurt her. Cutie almost died earlier this year from a urinary infection, and he had to have a major operation to save him. I just don't want any of them to hurt at all... when I was younger, if I'd had one wish, it would have been to fly. But just recently I realised that my wish is for my pets to go back to how they were when they were younger, energetic and not in pain, and live forever, at least as long as I do... and if not that, what I want... is to be able to hurt for them. I don't want them to be in pain. I would rather that I was in pain all the time and knew they felt fine... I just really, really love them a lot. But I had another thought, and it's that just being willing isn't good for much of anything in the real world. Sure, there are lots of stories and movies and what have you where people take on the burdens of others, but you can't do that in real life. It doesn't matter how willing I am to hurt for my pets, because I can't. But that's another problem I have. This might be something everyone does, or it might just be me, but when I really *want* something, I'm not just like "hmm, that would sure be nice," I *want* it so much it hurts. That's especially true of things I want that I won't ever get, like being able to fly or giving eternal happy life to my pets. That little element of impossibility just makes the whole wish feel cold and heavy. And when I think about it a lot, it physically *hurts*. But it just seems like... I mean... if my life were a shoujo manga or a fantasy novel or something... I'd be able to get my wish for my pets. It's kind of selfish, but not really, and it's not like it would disrupt the cosmic balance like wishing for godlike power or saying "I wish there were no more death" or something dumb like that would. I probably sound really stupid about now, so I declare that this is it for the journal entry. By the way, I'm really not depressed right now. Like I said, it's just when I think about it a lot, you know? Bah, that's not convincing. Well, whatever, I'm really going now.

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