26 Jun 02

~~**INSERT A SHORTER GAP HERE** Um, I think I wrote that on the 24th. It's now the 26th.~~ ***note: That doesn't make much sense now since this is another entry, but I wrote it before I knew I was going to have to split the entry, and I don't want to DELETE ANYTHING because that's EVIL*** Anyway... I can't believe it's been over a year since I started keeping this journal. Granted, there have been so many gigantic gaps between various entries that I'm not sure I can claim that I DID keep the journal for an entire year, but even so. Now, on the closest thing there is to the 1-year-anniversary of Glucose, the new year is kicked off the same way the first one was-- Veneliza leaving XO. She arrived last Tuesday and mostly stayed with me, although she spent the night at Kelly W's house Saturday night and at Kefrin's Sunday night. Kefrin also spent two nights over here-- Friday, I believe, and last night. We did lots of stuff =D First we met her at the baggage claim at the airport and her big bag thingie broke XD() Patrick was the first there, then she was there because her flight arrived early, and after that me and Kefrin (along with AnJa and mum) showed up at the same time, then Cooper and his girlfriend Christine came. Theeeen, mum took Veneliza's luggage back to the house, and the rest of us split up into Cooper and Patrick's cars and went to EZ's to see the ice thing XD *hand motion* Veneliza, Kefrin and I went with Patrick on the way over and listened to a song called "I Whooped Batman's Ass" that was hilariously bad o_o()() And theeeen everyone came over to my house (all the previous people plus Chris, Kat, Greg, Krystal and Eric) and we ate supper and watched part of Moulin Rouge, only the people who'd seen it before kept talking about diamonds and stuff during it so we couldn't really watch it so I stopped it and we were gonna finish it later (Veneliza, Krystal, AnJa and I had never seen it, and it's Greg's movie and he likes it so he wanted to watch it too) only we never did, so bleh.

I put a paragraph break here to make it easier to read XD! the next day we ate lunch at Chick-fil-A, only it was only Kefrin, Zuki, AnJa and I. Greg and Stephen were going to come, but they never showed up T_T Then, um, geez, what did we do.. oh yeah, we went and saw Spider-Man again XD! Three times! With Cooper, Christine, Kelly, and Krystal. (I mean that I've now seen it three times, not that we went to see it three times =D) The day after that was Thursday and I have noooooo recollection of what we did. I think we just hung out around my house, and nobody came over, then we ate supper at Fazoli's. Friday and Saturday, I can't remember correctly at all, but I know that on Friday she went out with Patrick to Eric's party that I wasn't invited to (which my mum was extremely displeased with seeing as it's quite rude to invite somebody's guest to something but not invite the somebody themselves, and when the somebody's mum drives the guest to the something) and I had a little breakdown on the way to Taco Cabana... oh, then it was family night, and that was Thursday? Uhh, no that's not right. Blah, what's with my short-term memory o_o() Let me check her journal and the blog to see if it contains any clues. Wait, it seems we went to the mall on Thursday... and visited Kefrin at work.. uhhh... OH WELL. On Sunday we ate at Golden Wok (my family + Zuki) after visiting this church, then AnJa, Zuki and I went to see Lilo & Stitch (WHICH ROCKED). Monday Zuki, Kefrin, Patrick and I went to Fiesta Texas, then AnJa, Kefrin, Zuki and I ate supper at Chinese Lantern. Yesterday (Tuesday) we went to the mall a bit so Zuki could get a replacement chain for the one I got her last year XD cos it got stretched and was too long, and mum shopped a bit, and I was looking for a wide belt with a big gold buckle for my Beatrix costume only we found none. Then at 3pm, we went to GameWorks for their play-all-day-for-$10 Tuesday thing =D Krystal, Kefrin, Patrick, AnJa, and of course Zuki and I were all there... we played for a couple of hours (DDR and House of the Dead 2, bay-bee!) then we went across the street and ate at EZ's... then we went BACK to GameWorks and played more, and Kelly, Krystal, Cooper and Christine all came, but Christine doesn't like video games so she walked down to Borders. And theeeen Krystal had to leave, so she left, then Zuki and I went down to Borders and the others followed after a while. I read the Marvel graphic novels Exiles (BLINK! YAY! BLINK!) and about 3/4 of Elektra and Wolverine. Patrick, Cooper, and Christine all left by then, so it was just me, Kefrin, Zuki, Kelly, and AnJa. We went to Amy's Ice Cream, then we went BACK to GameWorks and played some more XD (Hey, it's ALL DAY!) And then Kelly went home, and we went to Kefrin's house and she got some stuff and came over here and spent the night, and then this morning I, mum, and Kefrin went with Zuki to the airport and there was this FREAKING HUGELY IMMENSELY LONG LINE for Northwest (I mean REALLY REALLY LONG) to check bags and stuff, and we waited in that for a while (It would have taken at least an hour to reach the front of the line, I kid you not) but then figured out she could check her bags curbside since she didn't need to get a ticket, so we did that, and then we watched her go through the metal detector and she waved and we waved and then she left U_U Well, it was still sad, but not as sad as last year. Whoo, check my run-on sentence skillz!!!

Today I ate lunch at Taco Cabana with AnJa, Kefrin, and AnJa's freaky tall friend Stephanie.

Whoo-hoo! there's only one piece missing from my Beatrix costume-- the leotard, and I'm going to get that tomorrow. =D Yes, I'm cosplaying Beatrix in a couple weeks at AX02, and I also get to meet Hans! =D!!! And Devon of course! XD

So anyway, since I never DID talk about ACen (which was two months ago.. ai yaa...) and meeting Brad Swaile... I suppose I shall. I'll not go into too great detail, but uh, it was really great =O He's cuter in person *^_^* I talked to him personally quite a few times. On the first night of the convention, they had a meet-and-greet dinner thing where you could talk to the guests, so AnJa and I and these other people were all sitting at the table that had the nameplates for Brad Swaile and Melissa Williamson... Brad never showed up and we were all upset, and the others goaded me into stealing his nameplate so I did o_o() (It was just a computer printout!) Melissa showed up eventually (she was the director for the Cowboy Bebop dub and also voiced Julia and has acted in other dubs too) and she's super cool so we talked to her~~ The next day was Brad's panel, and I sat in the front row =D At the beginning, he was listing the series he'd been in, and he was all "I think that's about it" and I said "Ah! You forgot My Little Pony Tales!" XD And he was like "...and My Little Pony Tales... my first voice acting role... in which I played a character called Ace..." and everyone clapped and this chick was like "Way to embarrass him" and I was all XD Also, he had a rule that he wouldn't say any of his lines unless the person who wanted them did their best version of them first, and most people were too chicken but *I* got him to say "I can hear you, Trowa. Don't come any closer to me. ...what did I JUST SAY?!" and "Cut the crap, Hanagata, or I'll sprinkle salt on your ass and eat it!!!" XD After that, people were taking pictures with him and stuff, and I took a picture with him (see it here), of which I later produced a derivative work XD (see that here!). I also took a couple other random pictures during his panel (here and here). Anyway, I also gave him a hug, because lots of other people were doing so =O And I went to his autograph session and he gave me extra autographs cos I explained that I had promised all the swaileBLOG gals autographed pics but con rules said I could only have one =D ...and, I asked him if there was any way I could stay in touch with him because it was really important to me. *siiigh* and he didn't really want to give out any information, but then he said "Well, I have another autograph session tomorrow morning... come to that." Oh, also, at his panel, I confronted him about his not going to the Meet and Greet reception, and it turns out nobody had told him about it X_X It was kind of poorly organised, yo =O But anyway, I did go to his autograph session the next day (and actually, pretty much all the people I'd wanted autographs from anyway were there, so I got all those-- Jessica Calvello, Crispin Freeman, Fred Gallagher, and then this other guy was there, so I got his too XD He was cool-- I had already gotten Melissa's autograph the day before) but I guess he either forgot or changed his mind cos he didn't give me any contact info =| But he did get up from the table and give me a hug ^___^ Anyway, while I was in line I drew a bunch of random pictures on the back of his nameplate that I stole XD And I also put my e-mail address on there, and I gave it to him as a souvenir, only he never has e-mailed me, which makes me very sad. I mean, sad. As in really sad. =| even though I know I'm a ridiculous person, I can't help that that does make me very sad indeed XP ~~He's seriously... the first person I've ever really liked, and he was everything I expected and more, so like... yeah...~~ umm, anyway Jessica Calvello is really cool and I told her I was going to start a "Jessica is Cool" club so I have to do that soon XD()

There's one more thing I really have to talk about, and it's kind of hard... well... about a month ago, we had to put down my Kitty. She was in a lot of pain-- she hadn't eaten at all for a week or so before that, and she couldn't move very well. She seemed to know, and I guess she was ready... on the day before, she had gone upstairs (very strange, because she'd hardly gone upstairs at all in the entire previous year) and was just lying in Angela's closet with Cutie... they were both just lying there, not doing anything, and that was strange too because they almost never hung out together either. But Cutie is Kitty's son, and that's why I kind of think she understood, because it was like she was saying goodbye... other than that, she was always in mum and dad's closet on a pillow in the corner that she'd ripped up. Okay, I'm tearing up now. Anyway... after school that Friday (17 May) Jamie and I and AnJa were all going to see Star Wars with some people, and dad came to get me, and he told me that they were taking her to the vet that afternoon. It was really hard... I mean... I've always had Kitty, since I was three... so before we went to the movie, I went into the closet to say goodbye... I mean, I hated the whole situation. I didn't want to go watch a movie while my cat was dying. Anyway, she was purring for me, and I was crying and stuff, and then mum came in and we both cried together, and then AnJa, Jamie and I left to see the movie. It was really hard for everyone, you know? Even dad cried at the vet, mum told me. She also said Kitty sat in her lap the whole way to the vet and purred... Kitty hated being in the car but she would always get up and wander around, looking out the windows and stuff... so it was very strange for her to sit still in the car, much less purring and in mum's lap. I don't know... a lot of it seemed like she knew what we had to do, and she was telling us that it was okay... but it was still hard... and it's still hard. I mean, I don't see why she had to die. Cats are supposed to live until they're 20 and she was only 14. I was telling mum a few days later... I would have done anything to save her, but she died anyway... Anyway, I just hated it... and I miss her. It's been even harder because Cutie has been acting weird ever since... he scratched Pooh, something he's never done in all their 11 years of living together, and he doesn't want to be held... I wonder if he's mourning, too. I don't know if I just want to believe that because I want to think that cats are like people, so that I'll feel better about it all. Anyway, I do want to talk about her. She really was a beautiful cat-- I don't think I've ever seen a prettier one. That's why I modelled Sillabub's looks after hers =| She was pure black and white tuxedo with golden eyes... well, here's a picture I took of her about five years ago... it doesn't do her justice by a long way, but at least it's something. That's another thing I'm kind of afraid of... we don't have many, if any, recent pictures of her... or videos or anything, and I'm afraid I'll forget things about her, like the way her meow sounded and stuff... I don't ever want to forget anything about her. But anyway, she was incredibly sweet, and she knew us. When we were much younger, she would go on walks with us, just to keep an eye on us... and she always knew when someone was upset, and she would go sit with them and stuff. Cutie was one of four kittens she had, and when I was five, one of them (her name was Tiger) got run over by a car... mum was inside later crying, and Kitty came and sort of stood up on her hind legs and put her paws on mum's shoulders... I mean, she gave her a hug, just like a person... she was seeking comfort because it was her daughter that died but comforting mum about it at the same time... I don't know, she just seemed so human. She was always trying to teach Cutie how to hunt properly, but he never learned. She would drag out AnJa's and my Barbie dolls and leave them out for him to hunt... mum put them all in a box and put it on the top shelf of AnJa's closet so Kitty wouldn't get them anymore, and a day or so later she heard a loud crash come from the closet, and when she went to see what happened Kitty was walking out the door with a Barbie in her mouth ^_^ She'd also go outside and catch... things... and bring them inside as presents for us. It was usually lizards, but twice it was snakes, she brought birds a couple times, and once she brought... a rat O_O The thing is, she was always very careful not to kill or even injure the animals she caught, so although they were usually stunned at first, they'd quickly recover and be at full strength to run or slither around evading us as we tried to recapture them and put them outside XD() In the case of the rat, it was in the house for a week before we finally caught it in a trap o_o Anyway, what she'd always do if the utility room door was closed or something was meow at the back door waiting for someone to let her in. Now, the meow of a cat with a thing in her mouth sounds notably different from the meow of a cat without a thing in her mouth, so we could usually make sure we didn't let her in at those times. She would also jump up and hang by her claws on the back door and look at us through the window and meow, and you could see the lizard tail sticking out of her mouth XD She was a very incredible jumper. She once jumped from the patio to the roof all at once. Also, she climbed up the ladder to my bunk bed just like a person =D Anyway, that's all I can think of right now... I'm not crying anymore, and I feel okay. I do want to talk about her, because she really was amazing. So it won't make me sad if somebody asks about her. ...AAAANYWAY, I have been pretty severely depressed for a long time, because of that and that my computer crashed and I lost a lot of files. That's not so bad anymore because mum's computer, which I'm now using, is a lot faster than mine was. Also, I think we're going to try to install my old C drive as a second drive on this computer, so hopefully I can get my files. I actually did get most of the important ones because the computer occasionally booted up far enough for me to be able to access it from the network and pull files off. There are only a few I'm missing, but it's still sad, and the fact that it crashed the day after Kitty died made it much worse as well. Anyway, it's kind of odd to be sharing a computer again. I want to put wallpaper on the desktop and stuff, but I feel weird about it because it's not just my computer. =/ Ah, well. The point of it is that I HAVE been quite depressed about junk for a long time, and I'm very very slowly getting better. Squizzle doesn't read this journal, but I want to thank him anyway because he's really been there for me through all this and he's supported me a lot. I didn't really tell a lot of my friends about it... Jamie knew because she was there the day mum and dad took Kitty, Hans knew because eventually I told him... I mean, for a long time I didn't really want to talk to anybody. Jinjo, you've of course been there for me, but I only talk to you through e-mail, and it's just not the same as somebody just being on AIM when you need to vent... you know? Oh well, I don't really know what I'm saying right now.

I also gave Veneliza my platinum GBA. ...I just had a feeling, sort of, the whole time she was here, and I just kind of... wanted to... o_o() So I did. Yeah. But now I really have to get a job if I want to get another one and also a PS2 XD() Well aaaanyway I think that really IS about all I gots to say for now =O Thus ends the downpour after the looooong drought. Whoo-hoo!

(x-1, x) (-infinity, infinity) (x, x+1)